In my first essay, I got incomplete in part A. This meant that I lacked the main argument. The main argument is really important in an essay, it can allow readers to understand what is the main point. It is like a pillar in a building, if a building without a pillar to support the whole structure, it would collapse. My topic for the first paper is how does advertising affects people’s mental health. The last sentence of my introduction paragraph should have had the main argument, but I missed it. In order to get complete in this paper, I revised it in the second draft. I wrote “Thus, advertisements do have negative effects on people” as my main argument. In this revision, I have learned that I need to have specific points to express my argument, although I did know I was going to discuss negative effects, readers won’t know. Thus, the main argument is vital to let readers get into the situation sooner.
In order to get a better result in Part B, I went to the writing center to get help which was really useful. The tutor would check your sentence structures, thesis statement, and give you better word choice. Tis help really helped me learn a lot. I revised some places that the tutor suggested to me to change and have earned that some places need to be more specific to let my opinions clearly.
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